Enjoy seven of our funniest reviews left by some of our favorite candle enthusiasts. While we appreciate all reviews left by customers, some of them are so clever they leave us speechless. We hope reading these brings you as much amusement as they brought our team :)
Title: One of the best scents I have ever experienced, and I am an old man with a big nose
“Named after the high school crush of one of first Apotheke employees, Amber Woods will mystify and haunt your dreams, much like she did from Sophomore through Senior years. I bought this candle after trying to find a second candle to get free shipping. I came to Apotheke for the Charcoal candle. The pictures in the ads were too sexy to resist. I started looking at them in incognito mode on my phone. It was getting weird, so I decided to pull the trigger. I'm a sucker for free shipping, and for spending $38 on candles, ostensibly, so I looked around at their other offerings and settled on Amber Woods, mostly by reading the description and seeing words that I liked, at least as far as I can remember. When the candles arrived, I was stunned to realize that while I very much liked the Charcoal candle, holy mackerel, the Amber Woods candle was among the best scents I had ever experienced in my life. I refused to burn it, and instead began looking at all of the other products I could buy with the same scent. I still haven't burnt it...and now I have Covid, and I can't smell at all, and I am full of regret. Don't be like me. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Tell your loved ones how you feel and burn your favorite candles liberally.”
Life is short. Burn the candle.
Title: Stole my Hearth
“I am in love with this scent…brings back memories of growing up with a fireplace. Just don’t try making s’mores.”
Charcoal is so good it may just steal your “hearth”
Title: A Great Patchouli-based Scent Even If You Don't Dig Patchouli
“And that would be me! I'm a person who doesn't really like patchouli in its pure form, however I sort of think of it as the "fish sauce" of candle scents because when used wisely it imparts a special scent note that no other scent can supply…”
- Coudre N.
The ‘fish sauce’ of candles
Title: Like a clean man
“Its like clean laundry meets freshly cologned boyfriend…”
Save yourself the headache and buy a Canvas candle instead.
“If floral scents are your jam...then you MUST jam on this. So sophisticated, strong and just beautiful!”
The Jam Man has spoken
“I would bathe in this if I could! The smell is incredible!”
Maybe try our liquid soap instead?
Title: Unusually delicious!
“The charcoal reed diffuser is like no other. I originally bought it for my teenage sons bathroom, but we all love the aroma so much that we are constantly moving it around the house…My daughter claimed it for her dance studio next!”